How love should be viewed and its reality in a relationship and marriage

I came to realize recently that love should go beyond mere emotional feelings. And there are times when the genuineness of one’s love will be put to a test. Love should go beyond the words of the mouth but it should be more of how it can be acted out: love isn’t in words but in deeds.

If someone claims he loves you and finds it difficult to identify with you when you are passing through difficult times then he is nothing but a deceiver. Why will you claim that you are in a relationship and your partner doesn’t see that it is proper to get across to you through a call or a text at least once a day? This is a height of irresponsibility.

Read: The vulnerability of love and a need for reorientation

One of the things majority of people don’t put into consideration in a relationship is the health status of their partner. Health challenges might put a test on the genuineness of one’s love.

When your partner asks you “do you love me?” What he or she is saying, in essence is can you put up with my good side, bad side and the ugly side of me? And when you answer “yes” you are saying everything about you either good or bad is okay by me. Hmm, what a serious commitment but majority fail to understand the gravity of such word.

Somebody once told me that the day he discovered an illness with his partner his love started reducing and he can’t marry her. I thought of this statement and I concluded that he doesn’t love her in the first place.

Read: How to improve your communication skills in a relationship and marriage

Why will your love not cover the ugly side of your partner especially the ones related to his or her health? Your partner’s health issues may not even appear now but later in life and if that should happen will you divorce him or her on such ground? Although nobody wishes his or her partner has health related issues, it is just that one’s love shouldn’t be for the good season.

Let me use myself as an example. After I finished my SSCE, there was a girl I had a crush for and eventually, I asked her out. Don’t mind me; it was one of those secondary school love things. A time came that her face no longer looks attractive because something went wrong with her face. Could you believe that I started withdrawing from her and the feelings I had for her reduced? Later I realized that I only fell in love with her good side and putting up with her ugly side was difficult for me. So most of “I love you” that is being said is for when things are good but turn otherwise when things are bad.

Why will someone claim she loves you but packs out of your life the day you become jobless or your income dwindles?

Read: How to avoid broken home experience from affecting your relationship

Why will your basis for love be money? – It means if there is money ‘I love you’ but if there is no money ‘I hate you’. It is better not to say ‘I love you’ than say it only when things are good.

Love is a strong word of commitment.