The reason why marriage was instituted will be forfeited if
there is no peace and harmony in your marriage. That is why you and your
partner must see to it during your courtship that when you get married a
peaceful home is not negotiable. It is the joy of every man and woman to have a
peaceful and harmonious home.
Moreover, there must also be some level of freedom during
courtship or in a marriage. When either the man or the woman feels he or she is
being enslaved, then it means freedom is no longer in view in such marriage.
For example, if there is nothing you do without being criticized or you don’t
feel at home in your marriage then enslavement has crept into your marriage.
There is a feeling every married couple should have in a marriage which is this
is my own - a sense of right. When
such feeling is gone, you become a stranger and a slave in a place you should
have seen as your own.
The ideal order has it that the husband should provide the
Leadership of the home (not being domineering) and also love his wife while the
wife should submit to the leadership of her husband. It is abnormal and out of
order if either the man or woman domineer his or her spouse. If such happens
your marriage has violated the natural cause where everything must be mutual:
decision making must be mutual, respect must be mutual, mutual understanding
etc.
As a man or woman, there are signs you need to look out for
before or during courtship for you to be sure that your partner isn’t
domineering. The signs are listed below:
1. He/she can’t compromise
When your partner can’t accommodate a situation where you
both make concessions suggests that he/she will be domineering. A person that
doesn’t want to compromise will always want to have his/her way at all cost.
Compromising does not imply weakness rather it shows you are strong and mature.
2. He/she has ‘I am always right mentality’
When he sees himself as being right always, it suggests that
he won’t bend even when his opinions are wrong. People with this mindset
believe they can never be wrong, so they find it convenient to dictate to their
partner.
3. He/she doesn’t believe in freedom and dictates a lot
This is common in men cycle than women. Some men believe
that women are a second class citizen
that can be treated unfairly. So you have to check his/her concept on freedom
before you agree to marry him/her. I am not saying freedom to be unruly or to
do what is wrong but at least a woman should have a sense of belonging, freedom
of expression (airing her view or opinion) etc.
4. Rude and proud
A proud man or woman is likely to be rude and eventually have
a domineering mindset. Therefore, if he/she is proud and rude it means he/she
has the tendency to domineer.
5. He/she is not teachable
One of the heart cries of every man or woman is that he/she
has a partner that is teachable. Life is a school and we learn daily, it is
through this we unlearn the wrong ideas and learn the right ideas. But when
your partner fails to be teachable and sees himself/herself right at all times
then you are in for a great deal.
6. He/she is not submissive
It is always difficult for this type of people to bend: they
are just rigid. To obey instruction is not their way rather they want to be the
one in charge (always giving commands).
7. He/she is manipulative
When he/she is skillful in influencing or controlling you to
his/her own advantage.
8. He/she always enforce his or her opinion on you and quarrel
easily when presented with a contrary opinion.
9. One of his/her parents is domineering
If a man has a domineering father he may likely have such
tendency and the same goes to a woman. Therefore, you have to check his/her
parents for this attitude.
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