How to help your child and reasons you should not give up on him

Relationships cut across all spheres of life. It is neither limited to husband and wife nor boyfriend and girlfriend. There is a kind of relationship that exists between parents and their children. If this type of a relationship is well nurtured and developed then children won’t have much difficulty succeeding in life. What a child needs is an enabling environment saturated with love and care.

I believe that a child will grow to a responsible adult if shown care and love.

Read:   The major reason discord and divorce should be avoided in marriages 

Although, parenting isn’t an easy job; it is a call to responsibility. It requires a great deal for you to raise a productive and well-behaved child. You may even think your effort should count immediately but it may not be so. Nevertheless, your patience and perseverance will get you your desired result. From the time the child is in the womb to when he starts to crawl, walk, and finally reaches adulthood requires a great effort from your part. 

There are two major areas where parents do have worries over their child. These areas may at times look difficult to subdue and as a result parents start to agitate over it. These areas are:  

 (1) Poor academic performance

Parents should be careful of being harsh on their child or criticizing him negatively when they notice he isn’t doing well academically. Some parents will go to the extent of comparing their child with high performing children, while some will abusively talk to him. This attitude can’t produce the desired result your child. Your responsibility as a parent is to:

i.  Help the child ignite his interest in his studies.

ii.  Encourage him because it will help him to have a sense that somebody cares about his success in life.

    
iii.  Get a good home teacher who can also be of help during such period.

iv.  Allow your child to see that you have hope in him.

v.  Always tell him or her that you believe in him.

vi.   Always appreciate him for any little improvement.

vii.  Give him educative exposure: share some exploit some people have made academically, take him to places that can ignite his interest academically.

 (2) When influenced negatively by environment or friends

You may not have total control over what happens in your environment, the kind of friends your child keeps but you can assist him to overcome any influences that may pose a threat to your child by being a model/mentor to him. A good relationship gives you an avenue to show him the right thing to do and better ways to live. Give him attention and be close to him. This will help build a cordial relationship between the two of you and you will have the chance to give him necessary help. 

Also, he can be helped through the following means:

1. Don’t bully or act forcefully because this may make him go weird
2. Always persevere with him during the time he is doing away with such act. Don’t expect an instant miracle. It is always a process to overcome unhealthy behavior.
3. Nourish him with spiritual valuee

Regardless of the effort, you have made on him to change, you should not give up. There is still hope for him. Hence a saying, “For a tree, there is always a hope. Chop it down and is still has a chance – its roots can put out fresh sprouts. Even if its roots are old and gnarled, its stump long dormant at the first whiff of water it comes to life, buds and grows like a sapling. Moreover, change is inevitable, and positive change will take place if you consistently provide an enabling environment for him.

*Parents are a guide to their children and they are responsible for how productive and responsible they are in life. He can only be productive and responsible if the relationship between himself and his parents is cordial and healthy.


If your child is having challenges academically you can send an e-mail to me through our contact address for counseling.

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