This article shed light on true definition and explanation of what love
is and what love is not. Love should be defined accurately and not subject to
mere feelings. Defining love as a feeling has a potential of creating problems
for relationships. I have discovered that some people define love inaccurately,
making it lose its true meaning. The proper understanding of the word eludes
some, although, they use it frequently. They forgot that the misunderstanding of the
word may lead to the abuse of it. I have extracted different definitions of
love by different people. Listed below are different definitions of love:
Wikipedia defines love as “Love is
a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that range from
interpersonal affection to pleasure. It can refer to an emotion of a strong
attraction and personal attachment”
Deborah Anapol Ph.D. gave her own definition of love to be “Love is a force of nature. Love does not
come with conditions, stipulations, addenda, or codes. Like the sun, love
radiates independently of our fears and desires. Love is inherently free. Love
cannot be imprisoned nor can it be legislated. Love is not a substance, not a
commodity, nor even a marketable power source. Love has no territory, no
borders, no quantifiable mass or energy output.”
“Love is an Action
(Chabad.org)”
“Love is involuntary. It's a
natural addiction and treating it like an addiction can help you.
(theanatomyoflove.com)”
Isabel Thottam in an article titled what is love explains love as “Love is chemistry. Love is commitment. Love
is infatuation”
“Love is a complex set of emotions,
behaviors, and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection,
protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person (goodtherapy.org)”
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth.It always protects,
trust, hope, and persevere. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8)”
From the above definitions, some defined love as feelings or complex set
of emotions. When love is defined as feelings or emotions, one makes love
subject to change because your feeling is transient. I may feel good about you
today but feel opposite tomorrow. Feelings and emotions are not static; they
change with events and time. Moreover, many factors determine the daily outlook
of our feelings. If how you feel daily can be measured by some factors, it
means feelings and emotions are conditional. This view suggests to me that love
is conditional and transient.
Another perspective to love is based on attributes: patient, kindness,
trust, self-control, emotional intelligence, respect etc. The attributes make
love more of action and not just feelings and emotions. This kind of love fails
not and suggests to me that love makes one actively involved when one claims to
love.
In my own view, I believe the second view to love defined love in its
totality. Love should be tangible, measurable and not abstract. Your love
should be measured by how much self-control you have, trust, kindness, emotional
intelligence, commitment, perseverance etc. and not how you feel.
A relationship can’t be successful on feelings or emotions only but
thrive when love is shown both in words and expression (trust, kindness,
self-control, patient, commitment, respect etc.)
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