For decays, trust has become an issue in a relationship,
especially in Nigeria. Women can’t vouch for men and men can’t vouch for women.
But from analysis women who don’t trust their husbands are more than men who
don’t trust their wives. This is because over time men have given women reasons
not to be trusted. Men have always been political in a relationship or
marriage: they promise to entice but have failed to fulfill their promises. As
a result of this, a lot of women have a mindset that men can’t be trusted.
A relationship without trust can’t work out because trust is
a building block of a successful relationship or marriage. One thing I have
observed, about women, is they are skeptical about trustworthiness of men when
it comes to relationships. Although, women still maintain their commitment level
regardless of the skepticism. But the relationship starts having issues if they
discover their partners aren’t trustworthy.
In the real sense, trust is earned and not a freebie. It
must be earned before it can be given. There is no way you can earn what you
haven’t worked for. Therefore, you must have a proving record of
trustworthiness before your partner can trust you. Also, there must be a
readiness to work the talk and show her you can be trusted.
Two major ways you can convince your wife of being
trustworthy are:
Transparency
One thing that encourages and captures a woman’s heart in a
relationship is when her partner is transparent. Moreover, it is also a way of
giving her reasons to be committed to the relationship. This is the reason you
should be open to her. Moreover, being transparent guarantees her security in
the relationship.
Some men believe telling their wives how much they earn at
work will affect their spending or make them vulnerable to their wives monetary
demands. Therefore, they become secretive about their income. But you must not
embrace such view.
I discovered the reason above isn’t true because knowing
about your income doesn’t equate to spending more than the family budget. Most
women are prudent in spending: they just want to make sure their husband
doesn’t spend extravagantly. This is just their inherent nature.
In addition, men aren’t always open about their finances because
they hate being monitored. They may see it as monitoring but I see it as a
check and balance your wife put in place to help you spend wisely. It isn’t as
if men are not wise with money but they spend impulsively.
In a nutshell, if you want her trust, be transparent. Women
believe if a man can be transparent with his finances then he can be
transparent in other areas. Therefore, such man will be trusted by his wife.
Consistently doing
the right thing
When you do the right thing over a period of time, there is
an assurance that she will trust you. This is a good way to change her wrong
notion about men. One of the right things to do is being a man of your word: you
shouldn’t be a man who says what is different from what he acts. For example,
you promise to take your wife out for shopping but you renege. Probably, this has
become a norm to you. In such a case, your wife will take your word with a
pinch of salt.
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