What you need to know when preparing for a relationship part 2

The problems some relationships are facing have launched us into the era of look before you leap. People are now scared to go into a relationship because of fear of heartbreak. Loving someone makes you vulnerable to the person you are in love with. Everyone is exercising a caution not to complicate their lives by going into a relationship that will end nowhere. In the heart of everyone is the yarn to love and be loved. The feeling of love is sweet and pleasant but it can turn to hurt or hatred if given to someone who doesn’t value it. It isn’t a crime to fall in love because we are made to love and express it to the person you love. It is always a concern to me the way some people take the love shown to them for granted and even makes it a source of their partner’s sorrow. Some do ask themselves, “Is love a crime?” Love can never be a crime but must not be given to a dog that doesn’t have value for it. The state of mind of your partner should be important to you and it shouldn’t be hurt.


Moreover, in order not to run into the hand of someone who will abuse your love and complicate your life, because you love him or her, there is certain knowledge you must impact yourself with before you enter a relationship. There is a saying that “no one knows how a man loves a woman”, but you can safeguard yourself from loving the wrong person. Your own love must not be blind. I do tell people that life is more adventitious when you are in a relationship with someone you love than you being alone. A short write up from my favorite book (Bible) says “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” The short write-up summarizes the essence of a relationship.

However, there are what you need to know before you enter to a relationship:


Don’t give in to pressure

The reasons different people go into a relationship differs. Some go into a relationship because of peer pressure or parents’ pressure. There is a way people put pressure on you when they see that you are ripe to be in a relationship. They may think you are under a spell if they don’t see a man or a woman with you when you are ripe for a relationship. Some parents will confront you with “we have not seen any man or woman coming to ask for you”. This should not in any way make you take a wrong decision as to whom you will spend the rest of your life with. Always maintain your calmness and don’t be desperate.


Unhealthy expectation

I have not seen a man or woman without expectation. To be expectant is good but it must be measurable, healthy and realistic. The numbers of attributes some people want in their ideal man or woman are unhealthy. You hear words like “I want a tall, fair in completion, rich, muscular, social, lively etc. Most of what some people look for are external than internal and it has become the source of sorrow for many. Let your expectation be more of the values the man or the woman possesses. Let it be meekness, trustworthiness, sincerity, diligent, caring, loving etc. You should not create the image of “Mr. Perfect” in your heart because your partner will have his or her own area of weakness and that doesn’t mean you should choose anyhow.


Be valuable

Never expect what you are not or what you are not capable of achieving from your partner. Some people want Mr. Right or Mrs. Right but they don’t want to be the right person for their partner. Why did you want the right person if you don’t want to be right? You ought to make sure you equip yourself with what will make any relationship you are into work out. Let your man or woman say he or she is fortunate to have you. Let me shock you with this “you will attract someone like yourself” If you are valuable you will have a valuable partner. Like, beget like.


Human relation

Improve your human relation and you will see yourself attract your dream man. 


Communication skill

You must develop your ability to express yourself in clear terms.


Take clue from his or her family

I am of the option that before you say “yes” to any man try to know his family history of a relationship. I don’t think a man that came from a home that his parents are always fighting, quarreling and in constant disagreement will have compassion for you anytime you offend him. He will definitely treat you the way his father has done to his mother. 

When to say "yes" to a relationship proposal